In The End
by QueenManaOfEgypt
Summary: Atem POV. Songfic to Linkin Park's 'In The End.' Found on my flash drive! Plz don't kill me!My excuse is inside and in the a/n of a new 3-shot 'White Day Plan.'


A/N: I nice one-shot I wrote about a year and a half ago.

Disclaimer: I don't own YGO! Why?!?!?! I don't know?!?! Taka-what-in-the-pain was being super mean and wouldn't give it to me. No worries, next time I'll use the puppy eyes of doom! MUHAHAHAHAHAH! n.n

**"In The End"**

Before an open door with a blinding and gloriously taunting light I stand. I have spiky tri-colored hair, stand at 5"6[A/N: Yeah, that's right! I made him taller! You got a problem with that!?! What's that? You do! Well too bad! Atem: ^_^0], and I'm clothe in traditional Egyptian garb. You would think I was a normal teenager-not including the previously mentioned point about my clothing- but looks can be deceiving. True, I am technically 18 years of age-not counting several years of solitude in a never-ending void of complete and utter nothingness-but I'm not normal-anything but, actually. It's also kind of pathetic that I, the incarnation of darkness, loathe that particular kind of place/void, like I do. I should, and usually would feel ashamed to even admit that. But then again, nothing really matters in the end. I don't know why exactly, but that has always been the way and always will be. Remember that I told you this today, in this life it is a great thing to know.

_(It starts with)  
One thing / I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme  
To explain in due time  
All I know_

My name's Atem. And though this might be hard to believe, I'm an ancient Egyptian Pharaoh who ruled about 3000 years ago. There are many lessons I've learnt in my 3018 years of living such as; don't play with fire and more recently, nothing last forever, no matter how hard you try.

_  
Time is a valuable thing  
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings  
Watch it count down to the end of the day  
The clock ticks life away  
It's so unreal_

Have you ever watched a pendulum? I have, and have realized two times: 1) Time waits on no man, beast or deity. And 2) It is incomprehensible. It's so unbelievable that time is so frail, and yet so powerful all at once. It's disturbing…and terrifying…Time is priceless. You should never, Ever, **EVER **take the time you spend with your friends and family for granted. You will regret it. Time is swift and merciless. The hands of the clock move so quickly and take life away so carelessly. Time leaves no room for objection. In an instance, your destiny is set out before you and you **have** to accept it. Sometimes, when my aibou, Yugi-the next spiky-headed boy in the room- is asleep, I would watch the little, innocent hands count the days away, his days. Each moment is special, each day is heavenly, each and every minute from sunrise to sunset, there is life to be enjoyed and treasured.

_  
Didn't look out below  
Watch the time go right out the window  
Trying to hold on / but didn't even know  
Wasted it all just to  
Watch you go_

I once saw time as a mere trifle, thinking I was invincible. What a fool was I! Time is to be respected. And I learnt that lesson the hard way. How? Well, I lost someone very precious to me. And it was all because I was blinded by both my ego and greed-that had grown after **time**- and because I took, for just an instance, everything for granted. An instance was all time needed. All it needed to strip me of everything; my friends trust and admiration, my self-respect, my aibou and…my way. And all because **I** didn't stop, **I** didn't think, **MY** winning reputation was to important to me, and it was at this **time** that **I **learnt a lesson, just by watching my light go. I lost my light…and my way…

_  
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart_

After that battle with Rafael-who time used as my tutor- I lost it all. And that includes my sanity and self confidence. I didn't regard myself with the same _regal_, as I did before. It was pathetic. **I** was pathetic. Or so I thought. And why wouldn't I? Everything in my world, in my life-or whatever my current existence is or was-fell apart… It was **never **the same. I never truly forgave myself, despite my partner's and friends' attempts. The lesson, the pain, and the teacher are burnt into hard memory. I also had an epiphany about keeping my emotions inside and bottled. Though all my tears were of morning and…self-pity…I felt a bit-just a tiny bit-better after I was done.

_What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter  
I had to fall  
To lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter_

So I am brought back to my original point, not a very many things matter in the end. No memories, no pain. All that matters is what you did with your time. You know, the people you met, the things you've said. The one you gave your heart to, who you kept in there too. Why? Obviously because _**love**_ is the _**only**_ thing that is _**timeless**_...everything else are just useless _**shadows**_, _**memories**_ if you will.

_  
One thing / I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme  
To remind myself how  
I tried so hard_

Remember: It doesn't matter how hard you try to get something. If it's not yours, meant to be, or even destined to be yours. It will never be. That's simple, right? No, wrong, dead wrong. Why? Good question. The answer: We are **all** human. Every dream, thought and idea, human… And as such make idiotic and human-like mistakes. We are curious, envious and virtually powerless. That is unless we cheat, lie and steal our way to where we want to be. But do we need to be there? No, we are just greedy and think we can cheat both time-I warned you about her- and destiny-a close and favored accomplice of hers who's just as bad. However, like I told you, you can't cheat time. In the end, what does she matter anyway?

_  
In spite of the way you were mocking me  
Acting like I was part of your property  
Remembering all the times you fought with me  
I'm surprised it got so (far)  
_

Despite the gods and their mockery, I have almost no regrets and I'm fairly happy. I obeyed like any good son would, but it was hell to have every detail of my time-there she is again-governed by them and their will, as soon as I'm though those doors, .! For time won't be able to touch me, Destiny can't make me do a thing, and the gods will, how did Joey put it? Oh yes! Stuff it! They'll finally realize I'm not their little play toy, their property…I'm surprised I let it get so far, but then again what could _**I**_ do against _**them**_? I remember how much I loathed them after everyone died. All my family, friends, innocent people of my nation…few were left…That's it! That's why I did it! For them, for those who survived, for them I obeyed and still obey, for them to be happy and to live on…and I don't regret it. And to think, I fought with Ra about it! I'm lucky I wasn't killed and my soul devoured on the spot! But then again, they wouldn't harm me, their own property. I mean who else would ever put up with their insane demands! Seth sure wouldn't have, and I'm positive no one else in their right mind would have! ...gods, or no gods…

_Things aren't the way they were before  
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore  
Not that you knew me back then  
But it all comes back to me  
In the end  
_

It's amazing how much things have changed, how much I've changed! Before, I would never think of the 'great and mighty' gods like I just did! Oh Ra, no! Never! It would have made me blasphemous! I wonder if the 'heavenly ones' will even recognize me-ba, ka and akh-when I appear before them. Most likely not, though they really knew and understood me. Whenever they appeared to me, it was commands, orders and missions. No questions or even simple formalities were exchanged or asked. No emotions, or light conversation. It was always one disaster after another. And yet, I still find some kind of respect for them. I mean if they could have done it themselves they would have, right? I should be honored to have been worthy to be their sacrifice. Ra didn't just close his eyes and pick a name from a bag, right? Of course not! It is my pleasure to be sealed and tortured for my people. I feel good knowing I didn't abandon them. I really do feel special in the end.

_I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart_

Have I always had conflicting opinions on the gods? Or is this new? I wouldn't know, as I discovered that keeping my emotions locked within myself is bad, a little too late…oh well. I'm not falling apart because of it. Not here, and most certainly now. That's just something I'll figure out in the next world. I'll have all the time-or lack of-I would ever want or need to do so. In the end it makes me smile.

_What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter  
I had to fall  
To lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter_

I got so far in this life, so much to live for-or rather so many people to live for- However, life isn't fair. And no matter how hard we try, how determined we are, it won't matter in the end. That's another reason I had to obey the gods, they control **time and destiny**! No wonder so many fear and respect them! You try, and when you get too close, they make you fall…they make you lose it all…just because they can. It's not fair, but it's life, it's time, it's destiny, it's the gods…You can try to fight them, but it's only prolonging the inevitable. They always get their way, just because they can. Besides, when you're at death's door, does it really matter? No, it doesn't. Those facts are just shadows, like I told you earlier, memories…

_  
I've put my trust in you  
Pushed as far as I can go  
For all this  
There's only one thing you should know  
I've put my trust in you  
Pushed as far as I can go_

I've trusted them, tried to convince myself that they aren't unjust to take everything from an innocent person who's done nothing to deserve punishment. That it's not wrong to make the family of that little 8 year old cancer patient suffer every time she winces, or that the guilt a woman feels after losing a unborn child is silly. That it's okay if they play with so many lives for enjoyment, but I can't…I just can't…I refuse! I've experienced their spite first hand. Do you think my mother had to die giving birth to me? No! It was just another little twist to help them control me! But I will be free of them soon. Free of this world where so many suffer whilst the gods relax and send others to do their dirty work. But now that hardly anyone believes in them, who will they send? I've done my part. My only hope is that they leave aibou alone, that they don't confuse his life anymore. I once again put my trust in them, for my aibou.

_  
For all this  
There's only one thing you should know  
I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter  
I had to fall  
To lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter_

In the end, for all I've learnt, had and still have, I reflex and realize the horrors of this world are only temporary. My part was to get rid of the ones that weren't. Their part is to make sure every part is played perfectly, and that nothing really matters, in the end…

------*------

A/N: So…how was it? I found this on my flash and decided to upload it. Since my Lappy is crashed, I'm sneaking a couple minutes on my dad's PC.

Sayonara,

-Mana


End file.
